This is sung to the tune of “My Country Tis of Thee” (hat tip to Larwyn)

My country,’ tis of me,
Sweet land that gave you me
Of me I sing;
Land that my father tried,
Went home to Kenyan bride,
From every mountainside
My praises ring!

My native country, me,
Home of the Ivy League,
My name I love.
ANWR we must not drill,
To me a temple build,
Up Matthews leg a thrill,
I am above.

Praise my humility,
That’s hard when you are me,
I’m never wrong.
Let mortal tongues be still,
Let me eat my waffle,
Your drabby lives I fill.
So play along.

Al Gore and John Kerry,
Had not my dignity,
To me, they sing.
Change and hope and progress,
Did nothing in Congress,
All I have’s arrogance:
I’ll be your king.


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