To piggyback on my last post, it seems that if someone steals during economic hard times it is the result of “survival panic.” Leave it to a psychiatrist to come up with this doozie.
“Your honor, my client, while he indeed did take items from Krogers it was not because he is a thief, it is because he had a panic attack,” presents the attorney, psychiatrist nodding in the afirmative.
“What do you mean by a panic attack, counsel?” asks the judge incredulously.
“Your honor, I would like to call the defense’s first witness, Dr. Timothy Fong at the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute and Hospital, and the foremost expert on survival attack,” answers the attorney.
All too much for one to wrap one’s arms around? Are you kidding me, Dr. Fong has just open up a nice legal consultant niche for himself. In case you think I’m making this up, read “Downturn spurs ‘survival panic’ for some.”
Before you know the poor darlings in Upper Manhatten and Beverly Hills will find themselves shopping in Wal-Mart!
THE HORROR…THE HORROR!
(Hat tip to Carolyn!)